Random rants and ramblings...

Today I feel really enlightened and it’s made me to want to write about a lot of what’s been going on in my mind.

My most recent personal battle has been dealing with a panic and anxiety “disorder.” It’s caused my normal, confident self to be plagued with racing negative thoughts and feelings of doubt. It’s made me feel faint and in as if I am in a dream and wonder what I’m doing here. These feelings started happening to me after one certain incident that I know is the cause, but in actuality, my mind was the cause. It couldn’t handle what I had given it, not yet.

Everything we feel and accomplish in life is directly affected by our mindset. Think negative and get negative results, think positive and see the positive results. The funny thing is, is that the results you get are labeled positive or negative by YOU. Someone else could see them as negative, but your mind will allow you to see the positive if that is what you want.

I cursed and hated living with this anxiety problem for about a month. I still do sometimes, but it’s getting better. I now see this as a personal challenge in which I am going to come out stronger. I’m learning to control and change the thought processes that go on in my crazy skull. Seriously, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face because it’s not situational and it just doesn’t go away unless you work at it and change yourself for the positive. I know one day I’m going to conquer this and it’s not going to plague me again. It could be a long time, but I’m accepting the challenge. And the thing is, is once you stop obsessing over something like this it just goes away. The stopping obsessing part is the hard part.

Anyways, I ran into something about healing people through energy fields today. I tried it today and sent a few people in my life positive thoughts and vibes. I don’t know if it worked or not, but I’ll continue to do it. I’m sure it can’t hurt. Especially because I feel great right now. I am physically sick, with a sore throat and pounding head, but I feel spiritually and mentally really good. Maybe it’s because I tried to call on positive energy forces…

Some people think these energy fields are a part of the whole human consciousness, that we can harness energy from one field to another, healing physical and mental symptoms or illnesses.  People that don’t believe in this say it’s the placebo effect, meaning that it’s just your mind telling you you’re better when really, you’re not. But wouldn’t that mean that if you think you’re better, you are better? And that if you keep thinking a certain way, eventually it will become true? Funny how the people trying to disprove it, prove it even more.

Maybe karma has the final say. We can use thoughts and energy to help us out, but karma will put us where we are supposed to be. But then again, karma is a force affected by us. It’s not like it does as it pleases, because it’s formed out of our thoughts and actions.

I’m not sure, but this is getting pretty long. I’ll update on anything interesting. And I’m definitely going to try to start writing more.