Random rants and ramblings...

You know that Rascal Flatts song, I Wanna Know Everything About You…

I think it explains a lot of what I look for in relationships. I’ve always had the fantasy of being with someone who doesn’t share a lot, and seems a bit of a mystery. Then, I slowly get them to open up and learn everything that makes them tick, learn things that no one else knows. I think truly getting to know another person is fascinating. I don’t mean knowing their favorite food or place, but why is that their favorite food or place? What makes them do the things they do?

I’m not sure if this sounds creepy or intriguing. Some people like to get to know others well so that they can take advantage of them or manipulate them. This is not at all why I want to know people inside out. I do it because it’s the joy of getting to know another piece of human existence!

It’s awesome when someone is open to discussing these things. Some people just don’t like to share a lot, out of fear for some reason. They feel scared when they are exposed. But I wouldn’t judge someone for being exposed… I’d just… listen and understand the best I could.

There’s one guy in particular that I know a little about. I know he’s been labeled a player and a jerk and a ton of other things. But I once heard that he had a lot of personal battles and depression that he hid with alcohol and trying to look like a badass. When I hear things like this, it always makes me a little curious. I’d love to be the person that he could open up to, that he could finally face his own self and I could learn about him at a deep level.

It’s a nice thought, but often people that don’t want to open up continually have failing relationships. They seem to have such trouble communicating how they actually feel, so resort to other methods.

I’ve been told I’m too nice and forgiving before. I feel that sometimes people do need to learn lessons, but instead of being rude and judging them all of a sudden, why not try to understand that they may have some personal problems making them act a certain way. We all face things, and letting someone know they are allowed to make mistakes sometimes makes them feel better.

I know someone who, with every guy she meets, it seems like they’ve exchanged their life stories to each other within an hour. She’s not a dazzling beauty, but she’s always amazed me with her ability to rein guys right in and make them feel comfortable. I’ve always wanted to be able to meet people and have them comfortable telling me things. Sometimes I’m pretty successful at it. I feel like I have some motherly aspect to me that just wants to hear everyone’s stories and care for them and everything.

I feel like there can be a fine line between seeming like you’re psychoanalyzing someone and seeming like you’re interested in hearing about their personality. I once talked to someone who kept asking me “so how exactly do you feel about that? what do you think that means?” and I felt like I was talking to a shrink more than a trusted friend.

I think it’s all about learning to pay attention closely and truly listen to other people. It’s about learning to become thoughtful. It’s about making them comfortable and learning to build trust. It’s a beautiful thing!